Here are some examples I have seen or experienced:

The guy that lets you know he is newly divorced and has supervised visitation with his daughter because of his anger management problems.The guy who tells you, because he has no filter, that he would like to sleep with your best friend.The guy who recently left his wife for another woman online, and then dumped her when he met her because she was fat.The guy with no papers has already been deported once.The guy who is married but says to you when you try to break it off, "We'll work something out."The guy that orders five Jack Daniels in one hour on your first date.The guy that hates his mother and goes on and on about what a bitch his ex is.He's your brother-in-law, father-in-law, husband's best friend, teacher, or therapist.

God love us, we can't seem to help ourselves. Our heart "wants what it wants."

I KNOW there is community of women out here who are struggling to create "upgrades" in our selection process, and along the way, we still get derailed. This little book is an attempt to give us HARM REDUCTION strategies so that when we stumble, we don't stumble off the cliff! The humor here can be a little dark at times, and it comes from a place of genuine affection and love for us. This small book was designed as a quick read because when we are struggling, our attention span can be a little shorter. Or maybe that's just me? As I conclude the book,

I am glad my home girl encouraged me to write my thoughts down because these are conversations I have had over the years with so many women.

I love us, and I know how hard we try to make what can seem insurmountable relationships work. We are so hardy, resilient, clever! And we are not alone.

________________

Mary Crocker Cook has been a licensed Marriage and Family Counselor and Licensed Addictions counselor in San Jose, California for over 35 years. She is the Program Coordinator for the San Jose City College Alcohol and Drug Studies Program and has authored over 10 books, primarily focused on Codependency and Addiction treatment. She has developed an Attachment Infused Addictions Treatment(R) program and is working on her next book, Attachment Infused Addictions Treatment(R).